CH HAS A JOB!!!!

So I havent been on this since I was fired…That’s right I was fired. So It would be pretty pointless to continue writing on CHHASAJOB with no job. So until I get a new job this blog will remain on hiatus.
If you still want to follow my life, go to my new blog http://charmingawkward.wordpress.com/

Well thats it for now, thanks for reading so far, but when the time is right, CHHASJOB will be back online.

Thanks CH

May 28 2008 – 10:07am

(Quick note: I may re-name the “CHHASAJOB!!!” blog to “Existentialism & The Static Palette”)

The days have been a little more relaxed lately, I’ve just really been laid back lately and it helps. It helps me at work, it helps me put up with Amanda’s crap, and I just feel better. Somewhere between when Kenner joined Heartbrake Heroes (Circa September 07) to now, I’ve forgot to simply relax. Its funny because it was Kenner who I spoke with after the Mama Buzz show that I realized what I had become. I guess, I put to much energy into not liking Kenner that I never listened to what he had to say. It put things into prospective, and I’m learning to try and look at the brightside of things. Even though with Cut-Up Redhead, I’m finding less and less bright things.

The show at Mama Buzz, honestly felt bad. It could’ve gone much better. John didnt bring our mics, Shatto’s mic didnt work for us for some reason, Steve walked out in the middle of the set to get another mic cable, Amanda started playing any song she can think of during Steves absence. So the whole thing was bad. But I see it for what it is, a first show. Though I’m sure Shatto wont be having us back anytime soon.

Planet Earth Is Strange

The weather has A.D.D, how delicate; yet strong nature is, the absolute strangest are the people who inhabit the planet.

How can one life form contradict them selves so much, and that be considered another day?

How can one life form be paranoid of another country, yet they were the one’s who gave them their weapons?

How can one life form be easily striped of their hope when backed into a corner, and give in to what they fear?

How can one life form be afraid of the right questions, and accepting of the wrong answers?

How can one life form have the majority believe there is only one linear way of living?

How can one life form spend more time hurting each other, than helping?

How can one life form not appreciate the thought of another?

How can one life form have so many questions?

Call me a hippie, radical, over-dramatic, narcissistic, curious, call me what you will.

But humans, don’t make any kind of sense.

5/14 – 10:08am

Well what was once the unthinkable in my mind has happend at work. My co-worker who started the same day as me has officially quit today. This was an unexpected blow, in the sense that it all happend so fast. This pretty much leaves me to fend for myself here. But even with that, I’ve decided that I’m going to tough it out here until I can secure another job. I mean I’ve lasted this long, why not a little more?

But I sort of understood why my co-worker left (lets code name her “Eye”). Eye was more unhappy to be here than anyone in the office.  The stress was causing her physical problems, its very unmotivating here, and its frustrating to get help from the supervisor. Not only that the original job discription was to design websites, Not to call customer’s about them. By the end “Eye” was very depressed, unmotivated, and getting ill. So in that sense I understand why she did it.  It still sucks to see her go, but Im sure she knows what she’s doing.

5/2 – 9:17am

So out of boredom yesterday I decided to buy Grand Theft Auto 4. The super-violent game, thats actually fun. After spending nearly 5 hours playing that, I actually feel relaxed at work.

Now most people will write off a game as a “school-shooting trainer”. But people honestly don’t see the psychiatric value of this game. I am not joking. Why pay over 200 bucks a visit to a shrink, when you can just pay 60 bucks for a game were you can take out your frustrations in a virtual safe zone. That way no one gets hurt (in real life mind you), it relives stress, you feel better after, and you have fun in the process.

People seriously need to stop blaming entertainment (games,music,movies,books,etc.) for the worlds problems. Because at the end of the day, entertainment is inspired BY the worlds problems.

Now it wasn’t until yesterday that, I realized that I have a money management problem. Lately I’ve been really bad with saving money. I get in the mindset that after I pay my bills, I reward myself with a few things.

Thats a Habbit I really have to kick. But also, since I have to drive to San Jose for C-UR practice, and have to give lifts for free pretty much (are you listening “Guitarist A”? Your paying now, but I can tell you pay out of spite), and bills are a mother. Its hard. This is growing up I guess. This is the part when all the members of the church I used to play at would be laughing, saying “now you know what its like”…gee….thanks for the kind words…

In anycase I gotta reboot the system, and get back to using money wisely. I already have everything I need for now.

Songwriting

So lately I’ve been writing alot of lyrics. It seem’s like every couple of months I get a little more comfortable with my song writing. I guess it takes me a while to write lyrics because I put meaning behind every single line. One of my biggest faults though is writing a good chrous. I have a hard time figureing out a catchy hook that would have people mindlessly humming it on their way to work.

4/30 – 2:28 PM

The last couple of weeks felt like my head was a video camera recording with no tape. Of course I remember alot of things, but for the most part my head has been a swirl of hues I couldn’t possibly explain.  A mesh of C-UR arguments with our childish guitarist, dodging the Alameda Police, Hours & Hours of playing Metal Gear Solid, Repeatedly running into Lia Rose, I’m in dire need of some sleep.

Cut-Up Redhead?
While we are booked to play a show and we are getting our act together. We’ve hit a snag. Their codename “Guitarist A” I can honestly say that I have not worked with a more annoying, stubborn, inconciderate, dimmer than burnt out light bulb, naivee, low-self esteem, attention starved musician than “Guitarist A” I know I should’t speak ill of my fellow band members, but in “Guitarist A”‘s case, I am willing to make an exception. How can someone seriously think they are in the clear when there are many visible flaws? Nobodies perfect I know but seriously? How can people be like this? Someone should perform brain surgery on her  and replace the battery in her head, repair the severed wires, update the operating system, update the technology, and change the mindset Because this is a phase that you should’ve grown out of when you were 18!!!!!! Ok Enough before I stress myself out.

Originally this blog was going to be for stories around the cubicles only. Sort of like Adam D’s blog “I Hate My Job And Want To Die”, but with a lack of stories to tell, and so much going on in my life that just wasn’t going to happen.

So how about a work update?
Since the departure of Admin Girl. Things have gotten a little dull around here. Thats one thing I miss about here she defiineltly kept things intresting. But in anycase. Me and my co-worker both agree that our job blows hard! My co-worker is so stressed out here she started getting really severe headaches, that threw her off center. She’s not here today, but wherever she is, she must be having a good time. Get well soon if your reading “Co-Worker”.

Love Life?
DOA still. I mean as far as I can mention on this blog its pretty much “bleh”. Thanks to the help of someone, I do realize that I am a good guy, that I am probably the best 20 year old on the market! (lol I’m making it sound like Im selling myself on the street…any takers?) I just don’t really understand what girls want. Maybe I do and I’m just being naivee. Do I talk to girls? Well more now than I used to but its all small talk, nothing that would make them want to leap in my arms and walk off into the horizon of the sun. I guess I should keep fishing, I guess.

Lia Rose?
What Kind Of “CH HAS A JOB!!!” blog entry wouldn’t be completed with out a Lia Rose story. I had a few run ins with her lately. Let’s start off with the Rickshaw Stop encounter. I was going with my friend to see Here Here at the Rickshaw Stop. I should’ve noticed that  Lia’s Husbands’ band “Winterbirds” was also on the bill. I saw her and we just started talking about “Winterbirds” (I forget if its “The Winterbirds” Or just plain “Winterbirds” ) It was small talk but each time she recognizes me I get a funny little feeling that maybe I’m as that forgettable as I thought I was. The next encounter was at a familar place to run into her this year “Bottom Of The Hill” It was a good excuse to go, plus I havent seen Desa play in a few months. This time I didn’t directly talk to Lia, But to her husband (I forget his name, and I swear its not because I envy him, which I don’t). He seemed like a really cool guy, the kinda guy that would be with the kind of gal like Lia (well from what I know of her).  We started talking about our respective bands and found out that we were both schedueled to record at Expressions the next day.  Lia overheard us and joined in the conversation. Lia’s husband left the conversation, and I started talking to Lia for a bit. Nothing major, just what we where up to, our bands, Facing New York, and her singing experence. Last on the list was running into her at Expressions, I introduced her to Cut-Up Redhead (minus John because he had to go). The band kinda got an idea of who she was and the admiration I have for her. I really wish I knew more women like Lia. Oh well.

Nice mesh of the horror and the good. So its not so bad I guess. I’ll just stick around, and keep going, I mean thats what I’ve been doin so far…

By the way LISTEN TO “EDITORS”!!!!!!!!!

Drama has been really getting under my skin lately. Any kind of it really. I mean its bad enough when it feels like everyone is coming to pin you down, forcing you to lead a linear living. But its even worse when you have one person that loves to throw a wrench in the gears of optimism.

The worst is when one person stress you out because of how much drama is in between you two. But you’re not mad at the drama, your mad because you know that the other person likes to act like if their so fucking perfect. Talking about all these things that they say are true, making you seem like a old laundry bag full of dog turd, when in reality their rap sheet is as equally as bad.

I’m not one to deny if I’m wrong, but when you try to make yourself look superior just because your self esteem is below hell, I don’t have to prove a got-damned thing to you. I know it sounds mean but when if one person causes so much drama, so much stress, and play the innocent fragile role, then they’re asking for it. I’m sorry but I’m not going to get steped on anymore.

I may have cause drama just adressing such an issue but it had to be said, I’m really tired of petty shit. I can go through life having people legitmatley criticize me but if someone talks shit for the sake of drama, only to say that its not what they are trying to do, then I don’t know what to tell you without stooping to your level. I like living above hell thank you very much.

Do You Ever Get The Feeling That There Are People In Your Life Who’s Only Intention Is To Piss You Off.

I’ve really noticed that lately.

For Example: People will sometimes say one thing and a few months later they say another thats way dramatically different then what they said before. I do mean radically diferent. To the point where you wish they would shut the hell up about it.

Another example is when they consistantly contradict themselves. They will tell you to worry about what people will say, yet when its their turn to get cirticized, they don’t care, and continue on with they’re stupid opinion. How can you not call yourself on that?

I could go on, I mean I really could but I have to work, and try to be the better person, but I honestly can’t believe how ignroant people can be, I really can’t. Me believeing that there is good in everybody is probably the reason I’m taking this to heart.

Please note that this isn’t directed towards anyone, and if you truly think that this is about you (the reader) then (like Carly Simon) you’re so vain, and further prove my point of ignorance.